2008 Woodie Awards
Gruesome Twosome in no Place to Critique
Eryn O'Neal
Issue date: 2/9/05 Section: Opinions
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When the E! Channel said sayonara to Joan and Melissa Rivers, I thought the dreadful duo was finally gone forever.
Then the TV Guide Channel ruined that pleasant dream and welcomed back the talentless parent and her Satan spawn, who seems to be famous only through her horrendous mother, to haunt the award show red carpets for three more years.
Just once I would like to watch the Oscars without being subject to Joan's raspy voice, as un-amusing jokes pour out of her huge plastic mouth.
With Joan's unbearable performance in which she constantly pretends to be drunk, and that of her amateurish daughter, the two are anything but entertaining.
Witness Joan asking overweight celebrities when they're due or her daughter conducting interviews spiked with "uh-huh", "so like" and "um." I was taught that journalists had to have a vast vocabulary. Melissa proves that this is simply not the case.
What's worse is the mother-daughter fashion "advice".
How can anyone take Joan's fashion recommendations seriously when she has transformed her face into a disaster? With all the tightening and lifting, she seems to look a little more like Michael Jackson each year.
What gives these two the right to criticize the talent of our time when their outfits never cease to un-amaze? I would have more respect for them if they were fashion designers or stylists instead of two ghastly B-list " actors."
Joan and Melissa's contract with TV Guide is for three years, hopefully after that the channel will realize the huge mistake they made and send the two packing once and for all.
The future looks grim:
Melissa will carry on Joan's horrible legacy, bad interviews and all.
Soon Melissa's 4-year old son will be evaluation the dress of pubic personalities. Will the madness never end?
Shut up, Joan and Melissa: you two give entertainment a bad name.
Then the TV Guide Channel ruined that pleasant dream and welcomed back the talentless parent and her Satan spawn, who seems to be famous only through her horrendous mother, to haunt the award show red carpets for three more years.
Just once I would like to watch the Oscars without being subject to Joan's raspy voice, as un-amusing jokes pour out of her huge plastic mouth.
With Joan's unbearable performance in which she constantly pretends to be drunk, and that of her amateurish daughter, the two are anything but entertaining.
Witness Joan asking overweight celebrities when they're due or her daughter conducting interviews spiked with "uh-huh", "so like" and "um." I was taught that journalists had to have a vast vocabulary. Melissa proves that this is simply not the case.
What's worse is the mother-daughter fashion "advice".
How can anyone take Joan's fashion recommendations seriously when she has transformed her face into a disaster? With all the tightening and lifting, she seems to look a little more like Michael Jackson each year.
What gives these two the right to criticize the talent of our time when their outfits never cease to un-amaze? I would have more respect for them if they were fashion designers or stylists instead of two ghastly B-list " actors."
Joan and Melissa's contract with TV Guide is for three years, hopefully after that the channel will realize the huge mistake they made and send the two packing once and for all.
The future looks grim:
Melissa will carry on Joan's horrible legacy, bad interviews and all.
Soon Melissa's 4-year old son will be evaluation the dress of pubic personalities. Will the madness never end?
Shut up, Joan and Melissa: you two give entertainment a bad name.